Notes from the movie The Wisdom of Trauma (direct video link)
Trauma
Trauma is typically thought of as terrible things happening to you, but can also occur without horrible things happening to you.
Every human has a true authentic self. Trauma is the disconnection from it and healing is the reconnection to it.
Trauma is not the bad things that happen you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.
Trauma is a disconnection from self. You no longer have yourself when disconnecting. The disconnection occurs because it is too painful to be ourselves. This can become a lifelong pattern - not being able to deal with emotions, withdrawing from relationships when feeling hurt because of not being able to deal with the emotions.
This causes dangerous situations where you ignore emotional responses / instincts. For example, a child is being beaten by his father, and the mother has been abused before. The child sees two possibilities: my father is bad, or I am a bad person and would believe the latter. The mother has learnt to ignore her own feelings when seeing the child being abused as a result of her own trauma. This is intergenerational trauma. The child has no one to turn to and having limited resources, disconnects with himself.
Everyone has a true genuine authentic self that can never be destroyed.
Under a traumatized persona, there is a healthy individual who has never found expression in this life because they were not given the venue for expression. If you can see that, you’re trauma informed.
Trauma involves a life long expenditure of pushing down to avoid feeling the pain. As we heal, the same energy is liberated for life and for being in the present. The energy of trauma can be transformed into the energy for life.
Children don’t get traumatized because they get hurt; they get traumatized because they are alone with the hurt.
When parents go against their instincts and allow a baby to cry when separated from them, this creates trauma when done repeatedly.
Children need attachment and authenticity (connection to to yourself). It is a survival necessity.
When society does not allow this (e.g, a child expressing anger), the child is made to separate from themself and so learns to disconnect from anger. Instead of suppressing it, the child should be taught to regulate it, not to repress it.
Depression can provide insight into how someone is abandoning themself.
Our systems reward people who act from being traumatized. Their choices are unconsciously being shaped by trauma. The system will not be able to heal itself from the inside.
Parts of the economies exist because people buy things that provide temporary relief from trauma.
Trauma-informed care requires a system to make a paradigm shift from asking “What is wrong with this person?” to “What has happened to this person?“.
Our disconnect from the earth is a parallel with the disconnect from our own bodies.
Modern medical science operate only on the biological plane. What if diseases like cancer or autoimmune disorders are manifestations of trauma?
Diseases are normal response to abnormal circumstances. When recovering from an illness, think about what this mean about your life / relationship and how you treat yourself.
Responding To The Past
Trauma shapes Assessments.
We don’t respond to what happens. We respond to our perception of what happens. It’s with our minds we create the world.
Number two, of all the possible interpretations, we choose the worse one.
Thirdly, what I just said isn’t true, we didn’t choose it. It’s not like you went through all these possibilities and said oh no he doesn’t care about me and he doesn’t respect me, you didn’t do that. Your brain jumped there automatically. My question is why, is this the first time that you felt hurt and angry when you perceived someone didn’t care about you or respect you?
“It’s not the first time.”
Very good. And most people I talk to, it goes way back into childhood, and that’s what trauma is. We don’t respond to the present moment. We respond to the past. So who’s the one who doesn’t care about you and doesn’t think you’re worthy of respect?
“Oh it’d be me.”
It’d be you. Now that’s the learning. That’s the beauty of healing, when you reframe things and you actually see the source within ourselves, all of a sudden that’s liberating. Because guess what, if you’re feeling this way because this guy did this or didn’t do that, that makes you a victim. But if you see that you are the source, now you’re powerful.
Addiction
Addiction is any behaviour a person craves to find short-term relief, but causes negative consequences and the person is unable to give it up.
The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain.
Addiction is always accompanied by trauma.
Myths about addiction:
- Addiction is a choice, therefore The individual is responsible for decisions arising from the addiction. Therefore, addicts get punished for being addicted.
- Addiction is inherited. This is more humane than the first, but ignores why people really get addicted. Its a normal response to trauma - to escape from the suffering. The addiction is a way of covering up the emtiness inside.
Once addiction is recognized as not being the primary problem but as a response to trauma, it is obvious that treating addiction involves healing the trauma.